What Your Inner Voice Does to Your Sleep
Do you have a sleep problem? I do. Or, at least, I did.
I’m a night owl who also happens to be a painfully light sleeper. This combo means that for years, falling asleep could take an hour or more, and staying asleep would be near impossible if a truck would drive by, my husband would get up to go to the bathroom (or worse, I would), or my cat would come in for some playtime at 2am. Sleep deprivation was just part of my life.
After having my son, and writing 52 Small Changes for the Mind, however, I was not interested in being a slave to lack of sleep, and started to proactively conquer my sleep issues. Moreover, as a creative, my sleep is instrumental to my ability to be creative. Studies show that getting proper sleep is instrumental to pattern recognition, memory consolidation and emotional stability, as well as problem solving.
I’m grateful that I can now go to bed and finally fall asleep within ten minutes. And, I’ve figured out how to go back to sleep 85% of the time (as compared to maybe only 30%), if disturbed. Yes, these numbers are wild estimates, but you get the drift.
In order to conquer my sleep issues, I created a sleep ritual, including:
Drinking a cup of Yogi's Bedtime Tea
Limiting alcohol, and when I do, not drinking within two hours of bedtime
Keeping lights dim within an hour before bedtime
Using black out shades
Using a white noise machine
Journaling what happened in the day (just a couple of sentences)
Scheduling and listing out the Have tos for the next day
Using an aromatherapy diffuser with sandalwood
No doubt, it sounds like a lot, but all of these things have made a tremendous difference. Yet, the biggest game-changer to falling asleep and staying asleep has been learning to turn my mind off.
Turning my mind off is NOT an easy task. My mind thinks 10pm is an ideal time to inundate me with all of the problems that need solving (including the world’s), all of the have tos that need to get done, all of the questions I need answered, all of the drama that has unfolded in the day, and more. Sound familiar? I can promise you, it IS POSSIBLE to silence your mind. With a little practice, you too can get a good night’s sleep.
Recently, I was introduced to the book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. In short, the book attempts to help the reader understand how to find inner peace and freedom from the stress of life and all that weighs us down. The part of the book, however, that truly spoke to me the most was to realize that your inner voice is NOT you, and quieting it or “letting it pass through you” is the key to happiness and in this case, falling asleep.
Singer states, “In case you haven’t noticed, you have a mental dialogue going on inside your head that never stops…If you spend some time observing this mental voice, the first thing you will notice is that it never shuts up…and notice that the voice takes both sides of the conversation. It doesn’t care which side it takes, just as long as it gets to keep on talking.”
This made me laugh.
How true is that? Yet, have you ever really thought about it? Have you ever stopped to think about just how much space and time your inner voice takes up?
He points out that your inner voice is not you and doesn’t represent you. Leaning away from your inner voice creates the space you need to fall asleep (and so much more as you will learn from reading the book). So here’s what I do at bedtime now:
Let Thoughts Happen: Realize that your inner voice is hard at work and acknowledge it. Greet it, even. But treat it as an entity that is not you, and instead, as a third party.
Relax: Once you notice your thoughts, take a deep breath and relax. Think of something relaxing…maybe it’s a waterfall, birds chirping, or the ocean waves crashing on shore.
Move Away: Now focus on distancing yourself from the noise mentally. Think of this as getting further and further away from a music “speaker” at a party. The further you go, the harder it is to hear the music.
Enjoy the Silence: Notice the silence and try to focus on the emptiness of it. If a new thought comes into your mind, move away from it…move away from the “speaker” once again until you can’t hear it.
This may sound a little woo-wooey…but it does work. This is clearly not something you can do without a little practice. Be patient. The more you practice distancing yourself from your inner voice, the easier it will become, and hopefully, the better your night’s sleep will be.
Do you struggle with falling asleep? What have you found helpful?